June 23, 2019

“The Universe that we live in works in mysterious ways. There is chaos in the complexities of its functioning and yet everything is balanced.”

(Undocumented quote from wellness website)

Let me begin with saying we are all ok.

Really.

We are all ok.

Now the story of the images that continue to rattle around my brain and heart.

I stood in the door way helping toddlers navigate the transition from outside to inside to lunch. A process I affectionately call “herding hungry kittens.”

I had rejoined my toddler room after a break away from the building. Something I rarely do.

I stood in the door way.

Guiding little bodies here and there.

Verbally supporting them to their little chairs and little table and through the big job of little hands learning to open their lunch bags.

And then a crash.

And then another crash.

And then screams.

I turned to our doorway leading to the hallway.

I opened the door and saw the wall moving toward me and the ceiling beginning to fall.

To the left was the office where two cherished coworkers sat.

One a lifelong friend.

A mentor.

A “first person to hold my baby” friend.

A “hold space for you as you walk through a cancer journey friend.”

She was there in the office closest to the wall and ceiling that seemed to be coming down.

I knew they had each other.

I knew they had another exit.

I knew I needed to get back to my babies and get them out.

I closed the door.

I said a prayer of love and hope….

And I closed the door.

Then began the hustle and moving quickly out the building as we have practiced.

As we stood at the designated safe spot in the playground and I heard each adult and child’s name called off and a “here” in response I knew we were all ok.

Slowly the news came that it was a car that had lost control and crashed into the classroom across the hall. Remarkably no children or adults were in the area. There were no injuries.

So we had a picnic.

Then a picnic in the rain.

We joked about how glad we were that we were a nature based preschool and the children appreciated the outdoors.

We soothed worried parents as they picked up their children.

We debriefed as a staff.

We went home and tried to regroup.

It wasn’t until the next day when I was able to look my dear friend in the eyes and say how very hard it was to close that door knowing she was on the other side did I let myself cry.

To hold her in a loved filled hug and say I did what she had taught me to do- always, always put the physical and emotional safety of the children first.

Above all else.

Cherish the children.

And I did.

We did.

We are all safe.

Buildings will be fixed and scheduling will be rearranged and life will go on.

And for that I am so very grateful.

We are all ok.